An ode to C-Nenny:
Bouncing from place to place in a childhood of neverending moods. Happiness and belonging. Words that were hollow but now as clear as the cloud we are on and the night sky we write this under.
Friendships that have blossomed into something more beautiful than words can describe.
Teaching the meaning of the word belonging and as a consequece, what it means to be truly happy.
Helen Crook, Chloe Jordan, Beth Morley
You don’t feel like yourself,
unable to think, confused, there’s nothing going through your brain.
You can’t think of anything, nothing’s going through your brain.
In a slump, it’s infuriating,
there’s nothing wrong yet your mind can’t stop thinking
that maybe something isn’t right.
You can’t think, so you don’t know what’s not right.
Nothing’s going through your brain.
Everything that needs to be done, remains undone
and you don’t feel anything.
That’s a lie,
there’s anger but you can’t direct it.
You want to shout at yourself to do something,
to do anything but nothing’s going through your brain.
There’s wanting to be the best you can be
but how can you be your own magnum opus when you don’t even know
what that is.
Knowing that whatever you do will fall
short of even satisfactory, you’ve fallen again.
You’re restless but you can’t move, what can you do?
Lightheaded but burdened by the threat of everything unknown,
it threatens it’s impending weight upon your head.
Your brain, your eyes and nothing is working.
You exist as two: one who is aware
and understands but is still incapable of achieving.
You’re trying but limits exist as barriers
taunting your potential.
You stop trying.
There’s the one that thinks this but also exists as nothing,
nothing is happening and nothing’s going through your mind.
You have no energy to not believe in yourself
but the thoughts still exist somewhere,
they’re just waiting.
By Beth Morley
Where did the time go,
I can’t really tell –
washed away by the remnants of an evening faded sun.
Walking along –
I believe – it did seem
ideal and serene, merely a dream.
Don’t close your eyes,
it will just fade away
into the darkness.
The darkness that is
the moment itself –
behind the veil of smiles the moment is dying.
For it wasn’t meant to be,
I guess that paths don’t collide –
I’ll pretend that I don’t mind
but I’ll remember the light of the evening and the sea sounding sigh.
By Beth Morley
So I’m being brave, this is possibly the only thing that I’ve written recently that I don’t dislike (well, not yet anyway) and feel comfortable actually sharing. No doubt I will hate this with a passion very soon, so I’m posting it now so I can’t back out and not share it.
Continue reading Tint of the Rose // Beth Morley